How To Ask For First Date

Portrait of a gorgeous woman looking at her boyfriend with love

Asking for the first-date is perhaps the most difficult hurdle in the entire dating procedure. The art of dating has evolved a set of mannerisms for asking somebody to be your date. This is no way requires you to assume a mechanical stance. Rather be your own charming self – dignified and rational.

Your presence is as important as your words; hence ask in person. Move on to the topic after a polite exchange, without digressing and without mincing your words. Remember, if you wait for the ideal hour to broach the topic, somebody else will waltz away with your him/her and you will have nothing to do but look sheepishly.

Dating etiquettes also require you to be specific. So, be particular about the day and venue.

Your confident self will be rewarded, if not the first time then second time around.

Online Dating Conflicts

How can you tell if they are lying? Here we have answered the top questions about Cyber Dates! Did you know that Online Dating is the top moneymaker on the Web? Chances are good that you have joined a site or two yourself. If so, you’ve probably asked the top three questions many CyberRomance clients asks theriselve every day.

  1. Why don’t they answer my emails?
  2. How do I tell them about …………?
  3. How can you tell if they are lying ?

Why don’t they answer my emails? You’ll never know, but rudeness is a pretty good guess. Say “Thank you” to cyberspace for weeding out inconsiderate candidates so quickly!

How do I tell them about ……….?  Just about everyone has something they are ashamed of others knowing and worried about how to break the news. This question takes time and finesse for the best solution — and usually there is a good solution! Much of the problem of Internet lying is media over hype. What kind of interest would there be in a story about all the honest people who are on the net? But of course some people do lie, and being concerned about who is and who isn’t lying makes a heck of a lot of sense. How can you tell if they are lying? Count the ways:

Reasons People Lie

  • To avoid conflict.
  • To avoid the consequences of their behavior.
  • To postpone having to make changes in lifestyle.
  • To hide something they did or did not do.
  • To avoid rejection.
  • To be in control of a situation.
  • To avoid being embarrassed.
  • To make themselves appear more successful, good, or talented than they really are.

All make terrific reasons for people to lie online.

How to detect lying
A truthful person will be “congruent.” That means that all the information they give out — their words, body language, they way they live and dress, everything — fits together and contains no contradictions. People who lie will be incongruent in some way.

Here’s what to watch out for

How they use words, written, on the phone, or in person

  • Talking faster or slower.
  • Changes in voice pitch.
  • Taking charge of conversation, attempts to distract you.
  • Continual denying of accusations.
  • Unusual voice fluctuations, word choice, sentence structure.
  • Stalling the conversation by repetitive use of pauses and comments like “um” or “you know.”
  • Lack of use of contractions.
  • Prefers emphasizing “not” when talking.
  • Being extremely defensive.
  • Saying “Trust me.”

How they behave or the attitudes they exhibit

  • Being hesitant.
  • Nervous laughter.
  • Smugness.
  • Uncommon calmness.
  • Providing more information and specifics than is necessary or was asked for.
  • Inconsistencies in what is being shared.

In-person behavior clues:

  • Touching chin, covering the mouth, or rubbing brows.
  • Crossed arms or legs.
  • Pupils narrow.
  • Playing with hair.
  • Body language and facial expressions don’t match what is being said such as saying “no”, but nodding head up and down.
  • Avoidance of eye contact, eyes glancing to the right, staring past you or down, or turning away from you while they are talking.
  • Rigid or fidgeting.
  • Slouching posture.
  • Unnatural or limited arm and hand movements.
  • Partial shrug.
  • Lack of finger pointing.
  • May place a barrier such as a desk or chair in front of self.
  • Sweating, even if it isn’t a warm day.
  • Saying “no” several times.

Your own inner cues:

You sense something is not right. Explanations do not feel enough for you. You feel confused, you find yourself squinting or angling your head. You feel a block or a wall between you and the other.

In Internet dating, or any kind of dating for that matter, keep your anxiety down, your head attached, and LISTEN to everything your date tells you in every way. People tell you about themselves constantly, from the very first second of contact. You just have to be willing to hear it. Not only do they tell you by what they do say, they tell you by what they don’t say.

Many of these cues can come from simple distraction or nervousness, not deceit. New daters have plenty of reasons to be anxious. Signs of lying differ from one person to another. Don’t let your own nervousness force a jump to wrong conclusions. Give your date a break and take some time.

Often, Cyber daters move too quickly to the phone and/or a face to face meeting. Gone is the golden opportunity to safely ask questions and study answers slowly and over time. Moving to face-to-face or skin-to-skin vastly increases tension and anxiety, which complicate clear thinking and judgment.

With online dating, you have a tremendous advantage over meeting immediately flesh-to-flesh: You have a written record of what the other tells you. Make use of it! Take your time and get to know your potential Sweetheart the old-fashioned way – through writing!

 

3 Possible Reasons Why You Do Not Want to Date Again

You desperately want a new lease on your dating life, but you never seem to succeed. It’s like you’re on a losing streak. Every time you meet someone you like, online or offline, it starts off well but ends quite negatively. You can’t see any other reason except for the possibility that the people you meet do not like you. That’s not the real reason, however. Here are three possible reasons why you can’t seem to get out of the dating pit, and you don’t want to date again.

1. You may be too close to a friend or some friends of the opposite sex.

Everyone has a friend of the opposite sex. There’s nothing wrong with that. But there might be one in particular who is extra close to you, close enough to you to make some people think that the two of you are in a relationship. While it is never wrong to be friends with the opposite sex, it is important to set boundaries so that there is a clear distinction between your friends and your special someone.

2. You haven’t recovered from your last heartbreak. Or your ex still gets in touch with you from time-to-time.

If you were recently involved in a relationship that ended sourly, maybe you haven’t fully recovered yet from the heartbreak it caused because going back to dating does not interest you at the moment. Maybe a part of you is still fixated on that previous relationship. Or you maybe your ex is still bothering you, calling and sending you text messages from time-to-time? If this is what’s happening, you will really have a difficult time moving on and going back to the dating circle.

3. You have a single friend of the same sex who is especially close to you.

This might sound a bit weird for some since it involves a friend of the same sex, but it is really possible. Spending most of your free time with a particular single friend can give you problems in the dating field. Since you hang out with this person a lot, some people will hesitate to approach you. In addition to this, because he/she is the only one you spend most of your time with, you won’t have a chance to look for or invite someone else to join you. To change this, have some alone time. Try going out to dinner by your lonesome, or maybe you can spend an afternoon at the park alone.